I thought the adversity I’ve been experiencing for the past 20+ years would go away during the SEEK Fast period, but instead, it intensified. At times, my anxiety and fears caused from the adversity were so great that I thought I would collapse from a heart attack. During these 40 days, God led me to meditate on 2 Corinthians 12:7-10: “7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I...
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I thought the adversity I’ve been experiencing for the past 20+ years would go away during the SEEK Fast period, but instead, it intensified. At times, my anxiety and fears caused from the adversity were so great that I thought I would collapse from a heart attack. During these 40 days, God led me to meditate on 2 Corinthians 12:7-10:
“7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I’ve read this scripture many times but never has it applied to me the way it that has these past 40 days. One of my strongest desires is to have such a close, deep relationship with God that I am able to obey and hear from him with clarity and understanding. These past 40 days have allowed me to hear from Him and I believe He said to me:
“My love, My light shines the strongest in darkness. Each time the enemy strikes, view that as My opportunity to show My power and the victory I have over the enemy. Notice how quickly and how often you run to my arms for refuge. Notice how I give you what is needed for survival at those very moments. My light is shining through you, and as you continue to spend more time with Me, the more you will look like Me.”
During this fast I have also continued to learn the importance of gratitude. Gratitude has affected my perspective and helps me realize that God has allowed more good than bad into my life. When I look at my list of blessings, I am able to see in plain sight that whatever the enemy has meant for my harm and evil, God has meant for my good and to propel me. Through my physical eyes, there have been so many days the enemy seems to win this 20-year war. Through my spiritual eyes, however, gratitude has shown me how much God has been there all along, fighting for me, cheering me on, and showing me the true meaning of “My grace is sufficient.”
Sometimes I am embarrassed about having to experience a 20-year war and live with “a thorn in my flesh” that may never go away. However, I have learned to accept that this is my reality. Despite the discomfort and heartache, I am honored God has chosen me as one of His vessels to reveal just how much His grace/mercy is very much an even stronger reality that will never, ever go away....
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